Does God care about me?
Let’s be honest, we have probably all asked this question more than once in our lives. I know I have. To be honest it was something I asked myself walking into this new season. I know the promises and truths the Lord says about me, but grasping them as my reality was and can be difficult for me. The thing about the Lord is He knows exactly when we are feeling that way, and wants to show us how much He cares about us in the most unexpected ways. That’s exactly what He did to me this week.
Before our school week started my friend texted me and said she had something for me. I wasn’t sure what it could be, but I was excited.
On Monday the woman apprentice attended a Beauty for Ashes retreat. To be honest, I was dreading it. I didn’t want to dig down into my feelings. I wished I could have went on a hiking trip like the men instead, but in the end I’m glad we had the retreat. The retreat had many activities. Some were emotionally easier than others. The first activity we were asked to draw/paint/write how you see God. The second I closed my eyes I saw the most breath taking mountain. The sky behind the mountain was cluttered with a beautiful arrangement of colors. Lighter and bright at the bottom and getting darker as they got higher in the sky. Blues, yellows, pinks, purples. These colors weren’t only in the sky but reflected onto the mountain, making it impossible to not look at. Literally the most beautiful thing I have seen. I began to ask the Lord what this meant. He began to reveal to me that I see Him as big and beautiful. Breathtaking. Hard to take my eyes off of. I think He is captivating. I drew down this picture as best as I could within our time limit. At the bottom in big black letters I put the word captivating. As I continued to look at that word I asked the Lord how do you see me. “You’re my daughter and a reflection of me. Sara, you are captivating.” Me, captivating? How? I was struggling with believing it to be true. Once the time was up we had to share our drawing and how we saw the Lord. Vulnerability at its finest. It was a really cool experience.
Lunch break finally came around and my friend that had something for me pulled me aside. She handed me something in a grocery bag and said something to the point of after today I know you should have this. As I grabbed it she told me there was a note on the back and to make sure to read it first. I put it aside and went to lunch. After lunch I saw the bag sitting on top of my backpack. Curious, I picked up the bag and grab for what was on the inside. It was a canvas. One side held a note that basically read hey Sara I was praying for you the other day and the Lord showed me this picture. I tried to capture it the best I could. I believe He wants to meet you here and for you to seek Him here. I turned the canvas around to find a beautiful painting of almost exactly what the Lord showed me. It was a Mountain with a beautiful colorful sky in the background, and those colors were reflecting off the mountain making it captivating.
I wanted to share this story to show you the Lord cares. It may not be how you expect, but He does. Him showing my friend how I saw Him and having her paint that for me showed me more of how caring my Father is. He didn’t have to do that, but he did, because He cares for me.
