Rest My Beloved

 

I have been back in America for 3 weeks, and will leave it again in another 3. These 3 weeks have been full of debriefs, work, meetings, solo runs, time with friends and family, a trip to Michigan, processing, many trips to my favorite coffee shop, and maybe most important visiting the cabbage patch doll hospital. And the next 3 weeks look a lot like the last 3 weeks. 

Busy.

The other week my roommates were asking me good hard questions to help me process, help me see things from new perspectives, and to make sure my focus is still fully on the Father. After talking for a little bit one of them said “Mac, have you been able to rest?” 

I was confused. 

 

Here is why. I was intentional to make space for rest. Space for a run, time alone, setting up a good sleep pattern, picking up a book to read, spending time playing guitar and worshiping with just me and the Lord, very limited time on Netflix or watching any movies/shows, intentional time with friends. But after doing all of these things, I didn’t feel rested. I couldn’t stop my thoughts from running faster than Usain Bolt. I couldn’t sit still for more than 20 minutes max before feeling like I needed to accomplish a task. 

 

“I thought I have, but honestly I don’t know what rest looks like right now. I feel like I have tried everything. But I have a lot to accomplish in these next couple weeks, and that’s all that is on my mind.” I replied.

 

“It’s okay to rest, Mac.”

 

She was right. 

We continued to talk about what rest looks like in this season and how it will look differently than past. How I was trying to rest in the way that have worked in the past, but forgetting to ask the Lord daily what rest will look like that day. That if I didn’t make a change I would just become more exhausted. 

 

I was so focused on the task and making sure everything was in order that I missed what the Lord was teaching me about rest and trust. Trust, the very thing the Lord and I have been working on in a deeper capacity in this last season. 

 

Before I left for Southeast Asia a friend was talking to me about rest and brought up a well known Psalm, but pointed out something I missed. 

 

Psalm 23:1-2 says 

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.”

 

She pointed out how in verse 2 it says He makes me lie down in green pastures. Showing the importance of rest, and how the Lord wants that for us. How he wants us to slow down, because He wants to restore our soul (verse 3). 

 

So rest is important. Got it. But it comes back to this question I keep getting asked, what does rest look like?

 

Here is my honest answer. 

I don’t know.

But I am okay with that. With not knowing I need to ask the Lord daily what rest looks like that day instead of crafting it myself. Trusting His character. Trusting He knows best for His daughter. And so far it has been more restful than I could plan myself.