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Choosing Healing

Healing hurts. Bad.

The whole concept of healing is weird yet so beautiful.

 

For instance, let’s talk about breaking a bone.

 

The initial break happens and you can’t even comprehend the trauma that has just occurred to your body before it goes into fight or flight. Everything changes. Eyes dilate, hearing becomes more sensitive, your veins constrict, digestive system turns off, epinephrine is released. Your body literally goes into survival mode. You become alert, but you don’t necessarily feel the full pain of the break yet.

If the break is severe the bone is set back into place before becoming stabilized. Now that the trauma is over and the bone is lined up to heal correctly, it’s put in a cast to heal. This is the part that seems to hurt the most. The body is no longer fighting to stay alive, it’s healing. Literally making a broken bone whole again. There is a constant ache that you can’t do anything about other than wait it out. After time the cast is taken off. The bone is whole again, and sometimes even stronger from how the bone healed.

This whole concept of breaking and healing with bones mirrors brokenness and healing in life.

 

This season I am in right now feels exactly like breaking a bone.

Things happened. Not one thing. Multiple situations. At the same time.

Without thinking my body went into “fight or flight”. I became alert. Super alert. I didn’t really feel the pain of the situations. I felt strangely “okay”. I sought the not so medical attention I needed in order to be set back in place. Then I was stabilized. That whole process went fast and was less painful than I expected.

But now I have to heal.

This is painful. Almost so painful that choosing to stay broken seems so much easier and less painful. That’s weird isn’t it? Staying broken hurts less than the healing process. Staying broken is tempting, but broken things are useless. So I choose healing. I choose feeling the pain of the mending back together. I choose the growth that will be produced out of this brokenness. I choose being made whole again by my Heavenly Father, and trusting in His character and promises. He is a good Father who loves His children more than we can ever imagine. He wants nothing but good things for His children. He wants my brokenness. He wants to heal me.

Brokenness and healing is messy. It’s not necessarily an enjoyable experience to go through, but it is beautiful and worth all the pain. Growth and wholeness occur. And that pain that seemed to be unbearable is no longer a reality but just memory.